My Deepest Condelence (I think it's the right spelling)

After 32 years of your great leadership, I must say that you one of the best president (as in the second one and the fact that you coup the country). You chased out the communist reign of that motherfuckin-small eyes-pork-eating-rice-picker-chopstick-lion-dancing country from our Great Homeland where I shed my blood, Indonesia. You are ze best, where you actually held the dictatorship and had a party that had won every elections since you were elected ze presidentato da Indonesiano. I salute you for putting the nationalism da partriotism into our heart, those chinese can't have name like Tong Sam Chong (which I have hard time to remember). Those chinese are not allowed to speak their own language, no chinese new year and no lion dance.

May God have the guts to forgive all your sins, it is indeed very cruel to punish a dead man, your influence of hatred towards the chinese has almost turned into genocide. You have great deeds and the country owe you ( I have handgun pointed to my head) . I would vote for you again.

I am, indeed human being. With your death, some might say that you are to be forgiven.

FUCK NO!

Christmas Letter

I wrote this letter for Santa

Dear Santa,

I know I've been a very good boy this year, I brush my teeth everyday and drink my milk. Santa, how are you? Hope you are doing just fine, so I can get my fucking present. I went to church on Christmas eve you know, then there was this choir. For a moment, I heard the most beautiful voice I have ever heard since Janis Joplin died on cancer. She was standing in the second row, I know you know which one, because you are one sick fat pedophile bastard. She was just 18 and I saw her standing there and the way she look, was way beyond compare. So how could I dance with another Santa? Thank you for wasting your precious time reading my letter instead of banging one of your dwarfs.

Sincerely Yours

Agam Darmadi

P.S I love you

Which was return to me by Ga13ri3l d4 AnG3lzzz-R4wkkk

YOU FUCKING FAGGOT, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO SEND THE LETTER BEFORE 24TH AND YOU ARE NOT EVEN A FUCKING CHRISTIAN!!!

Oh Brother Where Art Thou?

ATTENTION!!!!

That girl in the left is hot, but you are not ALLOWED to date her, since your brother liked her first. You are NOT allowed to date the girl on the right too, since your brother also happened to like her (but you never really like her as in like her anyway). You SHOULD date your own cousin.

But you can play tennis better than your brother, so what you gonna do?

1. Learn how to sing

Yeah, they dig singer. Enrique is prolly on the way. Anyway keep trying.

2. Learn how to "sing"

Sometimes, you really need to, if you are a feeling really hopeless. All those conversation you have with your brother before bed, he never reached his puberty until he was 20, his sexual fantasies...ALL!

3. Get some friends

You can also buy some friends from Tesco, who cares about the prophets. Be sure when you buy your friends tho, check the expiry date and don't even bother to check where they made it, they all Made in China. Treat them really nice, no matter how prick they are.

4. Buy a knife or a lipstick

He ain't no Jesus....knife will do fine.

5. Be an asshole

Seriously dude? you go to church every Sunday? you say your prayer before you sleep? you help the old lady cross the street? Who gives a fuck?

6. Be close to Mrs. Ex-Pitt

She is your brother first sexual fantasy, but she is too barbaric, anyway....just for hurting.

7. Time Machine

Use it, go back before your brother claim it and voila! it's done.

8. Get a cousin

Your brother is 7 steps ahead of you, too bad son.

p.s Only works if your are still in high school.

Atlas Behind The Scene

ATLAS MUSIC & ENTERTAINMENT

Shannon, Zamir and I were out for our ICC TV advertisement the other day. Even though it was drizzling, but we managed to nick it.

Adidas commercial

Pre-production with Atlas Crew and Euan's Apple

Crazy Eccentric Shannon Sanders

The interview that will never be released due to the nature of its content and all that might mock Christianity, any other form of religion and politics and of course MTV.

We were suppose to do our third advertisement, but guess what? fucking lift is being used all the time.

I want to say I am sorry and I know you will not read this. All those good times with you, I took it for granted. You have always been good to me, I mean yes you really do.

You said you forgive me, but that is not enough for me. I treated you so bad and I hurt you so much, but you say you forgive me.

Even my Dad told me that you are the one for me, but I was so stupid not to listen to him. Even my Mom treats you so nice, but I was so stupid. I am the biggest jerk in the world, I think that you feel the same way.

I just want to say that you are the best, you are my Grace.

Merdeka Beta 1.5 (due to the pressure from the Gaffer)

First ever president

Indonesia tanah airku, tanah tumpah darahku. Land of multiple races, Indonesian and Chinese.

Even though I am a communist, thank "god" you din turn left wing. Because we Chinese will work harder and earn the same amount of money with those non-yellow.

And yes Mr.Soeharto, you and your anti-Chinese policy. I loveeeee youuuu.

Merdeka motherfucker!

F.U.C.K

My blog is not blocked by the web marshall. I mean I must have written a very soft post. So here I am trying to get blocked.

My fucking blog is not fucking blocked by the fucking web fucking marshall. I mean no shit but I must have fucking written a fucking soft fucking post. So here fucking I am trying to get fucking blocked.

What's the fucking fuss about fucking blocking a fucking blog with fucking lotsa fucking word. For me to use a fucking fuck word is not fucking cool at all. Here are some fucking ways to use fucking fuck word as found in a fucking dictionary:

Fuck

The fucking simplest of all, to fucking express your fucking feeling in a single fucking word.

Fuck You

Though it is not so fucking different at all, this is more fucking direct than a fucking fuck. You can fucking use it only to fuck one person, for more fucking add "all". Example : Fuck you all!

Fuck It

This is fucking simple, it's to fucking express that you don't give a fuck all.

Fuck Me

Though not fucking advisable to fucking use, this is to fucking express when you are fucked.

Fuck Off

Fuck on....

Motherfucker

To show that you are sick of a motherfucking snake in any motherfucking vehicle.

Fuck-a-doodle-do!

Used when you are fucking amazed.

Dictiofuckingnary

Infix

This is to add a fucking fuck inside a fucking word. For example:

1.Abso-fucking-lutely
2. E-fucking-xactly
3. Un-fucking-believeable

Infix In a Name

This is to add a fucking fuck in someone's name to fucking make them sound fucking cool. For example: (Please do not fuckin confuse it as their fucking middle name)

1. Holy Fuck-a Molly
2. Sidharta fucking Gautama
3. George fucking Bush

The Jesus Dictionary

This has nothing to do with Fuck at all, but it's a food for thought.

Jesus Christ

To express a feeling of not believing something. For example : "Jesus Christ, I don't believe it!"
(while in a church of course)

Also to use when you are amazed. ( Not by God of course)

Jesus Crysst

Not so different from Jesus Christ. This one is to show that you are an Irish.

Jesus-tap-dancing-Christ

To show that Jesus can tap dance too

Jesus fucking Christ(ianity)

To show how fucked up one fucking religion is.

For conclusion, the fuck word is to fucking emphasize a fucking meaning of a fucking word, so unless you really fucking mean it, do not use fuck at all.