The New Year For Chinese People

Happy new year 2008? well celebrating white man's new year is a big deal, it's the fact that every race on earth who is too dumb to create their own calendar celebrates it. As usual then, we have our annual Medan Kauceng (now known as Mahakarya, due to the legality of the name to be registered. No sweat!) Let me say again the MK Annual BBQ.

Creatures that swim in the sea and has no purpose in life except to be eaten

Me, cooking, for real.


Atlas Music & Entertainment & Ice Cubes

Chips or Freedom Fries, as the Americans prefer it to be called

Sausages (caption is so cool)

The creatures sacrificing themselves

MK, the family. Excluding that kid in trumpet and the girls.

Definitely, going back to Indonesia for CNY was really nice. There were supposed to be two of my brothers there and my Dad told me "Just come back, I got this Spanish wine!". Well, the Spanish wine was there, but not my brothers. However, it was worth it, because a true Chinese must spend time with his family, if he did not, then, he, aint, a, true, Chinese. So me Mom, the usually kind one or too kind in me thinking, invited those who has no family in Medan, couldn't go back to their hometown and just people.

The Decoration

The supposedly cool long table like those one in the movies

The Japanese Curry alongside things that you boil on steamboat

Well the dinner went well, me had couple of Coronas and couple of wine. Aye aye for Liverpool shuffle!

Dinner was good yeah....so I had only one week to spend with my Family and Friends.

This has nothing to do with the alcohol or my sex preference

My Deepest Condelence (I think it's the right spelling)

After 32 years of your great leadership, I must say that you one of the best president (as in the second one and the fact that you coup the country). You chased out the communist reign of that motherfuckin-small eyes-pork-eating-rice-picker-chopstick-lion-dancing country from our Great Homeland where I shed my blood, Indonesia. You are ze best, where you actually held the dictatorship and had a party that had won every elections since you were elected ze presidentato da Indonesiano. I salute you for putting the nationalism da partriotism into our heart, those chinese can't have name like Tong Sam Chong (which I have hard time to remember). Those chinese are not allowed to speak their own language, no chinese new year and no lion dance.

May God have the guts to forgive all your sins, it is indeed very cruel to punish a dead man, your influence of hatred towards the chinese has almost turned into genocide. You have great deeds and the country owe you ( I have handgun pointed to my head) . I would vote for you again.

I am, indeed human being. With your death, some might say that you are to be forgiven.

FUCK NO!

Christmas Letter

I wrote this letter for Santa

Dear Santa,

I know I've been a very good boy this year, I brush my teeth everyday and drink my milk. Santa, how are you? Hope you are doing just fine, so I can get my fucking present. I went to church on Christmas eve you know, then there was this choir. For a moment, I heard the most beautiful voice I have ever heard since Janis Joplin died on cancer. She was standing in the second row, I know you know which one, because you are one sick fat pedophile bastard. She was just 18 and I saw her standing there and the way she look, was way beyond compare. So how could I dance with another Santa? Thank you for wasting your precious time reading my letter instead of banging one of your dwarfs.

Sincerely Yours

Agam Darmadi

P.S I love you

Which was return to me by Ga13ri3l d4 AnG3lzzz-R4wkkk

YOU FUCKING FAGGOT, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO SEND THE LETTER BEFORE 24TH AND YOU ARE NOT EVEN A FUCKING CHRISTIAN!!!

Oh Brother Where Art Thou?

ATTENTION!!!!

That girl in the left is hot, but you are not ALLOWED to date her, since your brother liked her first. You are NOT allowed to date the girl on the right too, since your brother also happened to like her (but you never really like her as in like her anyway). You SHOULD date your own cousin.

But you can play tennis better than your brother, so what you gonna do?

1. Learn how to sing

Yeah, they dig singer. Enrique is prolly on the way. Anyway keep trying.

2. Learn how to "sing"

Sometimes, you really need to, if you are a feeling really hopeless. All those conversation you have with your brother before bed, he never reached his puberty until he was 20, his sexual fantasies...ALL!

3. Get some friends

You can also buy some friends from Tesco, who cares about the prophets. Be sure when you buy your friends tho, check the expiry date and don't even bother to check where they made it, they all Made in China. Treat them really nice, no matter how prick they are.

4. Buy a knife or a lipstick

He ain't no Jesus....knife will do fine.

5. Be an asshole

Seriously dude? you go to church every Sunday? you say your prayer before you sleep? you help the old lady cross the street? Who gives a fuck?

6. Be close to Mrs. Ex-Pitt

She is your brother first sexual fantasy, but she is too barbaric, anyway....just for hurting.

7. Time Machine

Use it, go back before your brother claim it and voila! it's done.

8. Get a cousin

Your brother is 7 steps ahead of you, too bad son.

p.s Only works if your are still in high school.

Atlas Behind The Scene

ATLAS MUSIC & ENTERTAINMENT

Shannon, Zamir and I were out for our ICC TV advertisement the other day. Even though it was drizzling, but we managed to nick it.

Adidas commercial

Pre-production with Atlas Crew and Euan's Apple

Crazy Eccentric Shannon Sanders

The interview that will never be released due to the nature of its content and all that might mock Christianity, any other form of religion and politics and of course MTV.

We were suppose to do our third advertisement, but guess what? fucking lift is being used all the time.

I want to say I am sorry and I know you will not read this. All those good times with you, I took it for granted. You have always been good to me, I mean yes you really do.

You said you forgive me, but that is not enough for me. I treated you so bad and I hurt you so much, but you say you forgive me.

Even my Dad told me that you are the one for me, but I was so stupid not to listen to him. Even my Mom treats you so nice, but I was so stupid. I am the biggest jerk in the world, I think that you feel the same way.

I just want to say that you are the best, you are my Grace.

Merdeka Beta 1.5 (due to the pressure from the Gaffer)

First ever president

Indonesia tanah airku, tanah tumpah darahku. Land of multiple races, Indonesian and Chinese.

Even though I am a communist, thank "god" you din turn left wing. Because we Chinese will work harder and earn the same amount of money with those non-yellow.

And yes Mr.Soeharto, you and your anti-Chinese policy. I loveeeee youuuu.

Merdeka motherfucker!